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Three Babies in One Year, But No Triplets !

November 4, 2010

Posted by Jeanne Sager
on November 4, 2010 at 8:00 AM

Just when the number of women bringing their mean girl attitudes out on the infertile crowd makes you wonder when pregnancy became a competitive sport, the babies themselves come out to do what they do best: restore a little faith in humanity.

How else can you look at the story of a couple who struggled with infertility only to end up parents of three babies in one year — without a set of multiples in the bunch?

Lauren and Joe Kamnik went through IUI, IVF, and finally started looking for a surrogate or a child to adopt. Then they hit the jackpot.

They found Oliver, a little boy who was ready to come home with them, and their surrogate got pregnant. More or less at the same time. Oh, and then Lauren got pregnant completely on accident.

One year. Three babies: Oliver, Vivienne, and Wesley.

It’s the kind of story I want to send to every woman struggling with infertility that I know. Not to rub it in her face, but because if anyone needs a smile, it’s her. And I encourage her to hand a printout to the naysayers who roll their eyes and tell her, “Just give up already, don’t you see what it’s doing to you?”

That should be on the list of top 10 things NOT to say to a woman struggling with infertility, but I hear it anyway. It’s close to “just adopt already” or “just use IVF already.” But it’s even more dismissive — telling someone to “give up” is tantamount to saying, “Oh well, babies aren’t everything.”

Easy for you to say. Until you want one more than anything in the world. And then there are the people like the Kamniks who prove why each avenue can be worth it — whether you choose them all or just one.

Or people like Susan and Shane Comiskey. The married pastors didn’t “just give up already.” They spent 22 years trying for their baby, including a year-long bout with cancer for Susan. They finally welcomed daughter Anna last month.

Do these stories give you hope?

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